Do you remember the days when you were a kid and you were so excited to go to the local amusement park or traveling carnival? One of my most favorite rides was the bumper cars. Not sure why this was soooo exciting other than you were allowed to drive before you had a license. It was the thrill of being behind the wheel... you had control!
"BEFORE you had a license", I said!! What the heck! Good thing is that the intelligent person who came up with this so called "ride" put rubber bumpers on the cute little car. Why was this person not given the Nobel Prize and have the auto industry start placing these on street vehicles??!! Or, better yet, why did Cracker Jacks start handing out driver's licenses as the surprise toy in the bottom of the box??
Where am I going with this, you ponder? A 5 minute trip the bank becomes a 6 hour excursion due to the lack of thought put into bounce proof cars and handing driver's licenses to every Tom, Dick & Mary (or Maria in this case).
Every time I have ever been hit and not been at fault, an old lady crawls out from behind her over-sized steering wheel and down off of her 6 inch booster seat! That should be the number one indicator that she needs to be retested frequently to KEEP her license. HELLLOOOO!!!?? Too short to "see" the road wasn't a red flag?
Now, my Sweet Leilani lies in pieces, tormented and wounded for the next 4-5 days while the kindness of some stranger, (who probably wants to take me or the insurance company for all that he can), mends her broken body and boosts her spirits by giving her a well needed makeover.
I think my once youthful, beautiful Leilani gives false representation that she yurns to be a fun-giving bumper car since she has been in 5, count them... 5, accidents of sorts since bringing her home in her swaddling clothes. My children haven't even been in this many accidents!!!
I think I need to invest in a yellow caution strip with reflectors and flashing hazard lights so that no one misinterprets her jovial character as "Baby Buggy Bumper play time". Maybe add a megaphone and speaker system that shouts "A-UUUGA!!" in that cartoon way when another heap of metal and/or Plexiglas is within a yard of her delicate, pearl blue skin. OR just start testing the old farts more frequently, a majority ruled jury decision and no one with a flipping BOOSTER SEAT for Pete's Sake!!! I mean, I'm short and I don't have one!!
For all of you worriers out there don't fret. In reality, she simply backed into my rear passenger side door as I was going to withdraw well needed funds from the only cursed bank in this desolation they call a town. In less than 6 hours, I had claims filed through both insurance companies, estimates from both companies' collision centers, a rental car (a gas hog of course) and my crippled baby already in the shop and being disassembled like Johnny 5. Damn I'm good!! AND... to top it off, she'll be all better and raring to taking us on our trip out to LEGOLAND next week --- and all this before either insurance company can ironically reach the old hag who hasn't figured out how to use her rearview mirror!!
DISCLAIMER
**No one was injured in the making of this story. All events are based on actual events and places although the names may have been changed to protect the identity of those involved - except for the moronic Maria.**
Thank you and good day!
"BEFORE you had a license", I said!! What the heck! Good thing is that the intelligent person who came up with this so called "ride" put rubber bumpers on the cute little car. Why was this person not given the Nobel Prize and have the auto industry start placing these on street vehicles??!! Or, better yet, why did Cracker Jacks start handing out driver's licenses as the surprise toy in the bottom of the box??
Where am I going with this, you ponder? A 5 minute trip the bank becomes a 6 hour excursion due to the lack of thought put into bounce proof cars and handing driver's licenses to every Tom, Dick & Mary (or Maria in this case).
Every time I have ever been hit and not been at fault, an old lady crawls out from behind her over-sized steering wheel and down off of her 6 inch booster seat! That should be the number one indicator that she needs to be retested frequently to KEEP her license. HELLLOOOO!!!?? Too short to "see" the road wasn't a red flag?
Now, my Sweet Leilani lies in pieces, tormented and wounded for the next 4-5 days while the kindness of some stranger, (who probably wants to take me or the insurance company for all that he can), mends her broken body and boosts her spirits by giving her a well needed makeover.
I think my once youthful, beautiful Leilani gives false representation that she yurns to be a fun-giving bumper car since she has been in 5, count them... 5, accidents of sorts since bringing her home in her swaddling clothes. My children haven't even been in this many accidents!!!
I think I need to invest in a yellow caution strip with reflectors and flashing hazard lights so that no one misinterprets her jovial character as "Baby Buggy Bumper play time". Maybe add a megaphone and speaker system that shouts "A-UUUGA!!" in that cartoon way when another heap of metal and/or Plexiglas is within a yard of her delicate, pearl blue skin. OR just start testing the old farts more frequently, a majority ruled jury decision and no one with a flipping BOOSTER SEAT for Pete's Sake!!! I mean, I'm short and I don't have one!!
For all of you worriers out there don't fret. In reality, she simply backed into my rear passenger side door as I was going to withdraw well needed funds from the only cursed bank in this desolation they call a town. In less than 6 hours, I had claims filed through both insurance companies, estimates from both companies' collision centers, a rental car (a gas hog of course) and my crippled baby already in the shop and being disassembled like Johnny 5. Damn I'm good!! AND... to top it off, she'll be all better and raring to taking us on our trip out to LEGOLAND next week --- and all this before either insurance company can ironically reach the old hag who hasn't figured out how to use her rearview mirror!!
DISCLAIMER
**No one was injured in the making of this story. All events are based on actual events and places although the names may have been changed to protect the identity of those involved - except for the moronic Maria.**
Thank you and good day!
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