Ok, here I am again... dorkzilla, back to elaborate on yet another simple situation to make it the size of the galaxy all for my own amusement... hopefully yours a little.
Let me start off by saying I am a female so I understand I was not granted the most awesome gift from God of being the world's best driver, but I haven't killed anyone... yet....
In order to enjoy the simple pleasures of a nice house, I must travel 50 miles each way to and from work, through the hot desert sun, uphill, both ways... hehe. I knew this may eventually pose a slight problem being a nightwalker and all (for those sun soakers, that means I work graveyards), but last week my worst fear almost came to fruition.
Let's just say that I may have not been sleeping good Monday so therefore, come Monday night, I was wishing I was sleeping REALLY good. This is where that whole concept of the "unmentionable place" comes to mind (work - blah). It was a battle all night to keep the shutters of my visionary processors open... and I feel I did alright considering who the hell is really watching paid programming at 4 in the morning anyway??
But I was raring to go. I only had an hour drive to get to the sanctity of my boudoir (didn't know I could speak French, did you?). I was doing ok… although, I may have scared a few motorists with some crafty and surprising lane changes, but I was still within some of the lines...
And there it was... Exit 200! Inside, I was jumping for joy but outside, the excitement was too much to handle and again I lost my battle with the Sandman.... damn nemesis of mine!
I was getting off the exit ramp and some tard-hole decided to make the exit ramp curved like a snake (or those of you in CO, a mountain road). WTF!! Disregard the fact that it may have always been a little "wavy" but that day it was supposed to be straight!
Thus, causing me to veer a little off the road... but I AM WOMAN and I recovered... only to be tripped up by loose gravel on the road!! Who would have put that there?? So I found myself in some time warp, still barely concsious but aware enough of my impending demise, spinning around with my front winshield facing potential oncoming traffic! Lucky me though, my car decided to actually exit the off ramp causing me to slide down the embankment of the road onto the evil desert sand!
This is when my Super Sleuth instincts kicked into high gear. I looked around in a moment of panic to see who was everywhere. When I realized I wasn't dead and There were no cars in the immediate area, I flipped a "female dog", got back onto that devious off-ramp and high tailed it home.
The car was pulling really hard to the left... "Great", I thought. "I broke it too". But the mission at hand was to get into the secret confines of my garage and fade away into embarrassing slumber.
When I got home, luckily I only managed to give myself a flat tire by jamming EVIL AZ pebbles into the wheel frame which was easily remedied by calling my brother over to drive me to the shop to have them re-mount it and pump some hot air in that sucker (thank heaven, we have a lot of that out here).
The lesson of the day, kids? Don't forget to mail away for your secret decoder ring and open up your opportunities into the ways of the master gumshoe so you can find your way out of sticky situations such as these....
And, by the way, I still haven't killed anyone driving.... YET....
Let me start off by saying I am a female so I understand I was not granted the most awesome gift from God of being the world's best driver, but I haven't killed anyone... yet....
In order to enjoy the simple pleasures of a nice house, I must travel 50 miles each way to and from work, through the hot desert sun, uphill, both ways... hehe. I knew this may eventually pose a slight problem being a nightwalker and all (for those sun soakers, that means I work graveyards), but last week my worst fear almost came to fruition.
Let's just say that I may have not been sleeping good Monday so therefore, come Monday night, I was wishing I was sleeping REALLY good. This is where that whole concept of the "unmentionable place" comes to mind (work - blah). It was a battle all night to keep the shutters of my visionary processors open... and I feel I did alright considering who the hell is really watching paid programming at 4 in the morning anyway??
But I was raring to go. I only had an hour drive to get to the sanctity of my boudoir (didn't know I could speak French, did you?). I was doing ok… although, I may have scared a few motorists with some crafty and surprising lane changes, but I was still within some of the lines...
And there it was... Exit 200! Inside, I was jumping for joy but outside, the excitement was too much to handle and again I lost my battle with the Sandman.... damn nemesis of mine!
I was getting off the exit ramp and some tard-hole decided to make the exit ramp curved like a snake (or those of you in CO, a mountain road). WTF!! Disregard the fact that it may have always been a little "wavy" but that day it was supposed to be straight!
Thus, causing me to veer a little off the road... but I AM WOMAN and I recovered... only to be tripped up by loose gravel on the road!! Who would have put that there?? So I found myself in some time warp, still barely concsious but aware enough of my impending demise, spinning around with my front winshield facing potential oncoming traffic! Lucky me though, my car decided to actually exit the off ramp causing me to slide down the embankment of the road onto the evil desert sand!
This is when my Super Sleuth instincts kicked into high gear. I looked around in a moment of panic to see who was everywhere. When I realized I wasn't dead and There were no cars in the immediate area, I flipped a "female dog", got back onto that devious off-ramp and high tailed it home.
The car was pulling really hard to the left... "Great", I thought. "I broke it too". But the mission at hand was to get into the secret confines of my garage and fade away into embarrassing slumber.
When I got home, luckily I only managed to give myself a flat tire by jamming EVIL AZ pebbles into the wheel frame which was easily remedied by calling my brother over to drive me to the shop to have them re-mount it and pump some hot air in that sucker (thank heaven, we have a lot of that out here).
The lesson of the day, kids? Don't forget to mail away for your secret decoder ring and open up your opportunities into the ways of the master gumshoe so you can find your way out of sticky situations such as these....
And, by the way, I still haven't killed anyone driving.... YET....
